Welcome to film’s biggest party! At my house. In my jeans…. Anyway, Doug here with The Hodgepodge Podcast’s 11th Annual Oscars Live Blog! The show starts at 7PM EST, so come back then for the comedy bits and analysis of the actual awards ceremony. Dirty A will be chiming in throughout and we’re looking to have a good time! Follow along throughout the night!

(All times EST)

6:36 – Red Carpet going on now. Holy crap, Jesse Plemmons has lost a TON of weight. What’s his secret???

6:37 – Emma Stone looks lovely this evening. I hope she loses. Lol.

6:42 – For a second there, I was like, “Why the hell is Jack Quaid there? This isn’t the Emmys!” He was in Oppenheimer. Lol

7:02 – Yeah, don’t miss Abbott Elementary after the Oscars. I’m sure that top rate sitcom will have more drama than the awards ceremony.

7:04 – Clearly, no one was ready for this time change for the Oscars. I’m watching an Arby’s commercial now instead of Kimmel’s monologue.

7:07 – Lol, Kimmel on the bench with Barbie. She just called him beautiful.

7:08 – “Thank you for that partial standing ovation.” Lol.

7:09 – “We’re starting an hour early, but we’re already 5 minutes over.”

7:10 – “Many people thought Greta Gerwig should have been nominated. Don’t clap – you’re the ones who didn’t vote for her!”

7:11 – “Ryan [Gosling], you are so hot. Let’s go camping together and not tell our wives.”

7:12 – “This is only one of the highest points in Robert Downey Jr.’s career.” Ba-dump-bump! Narcotics joke!

7:13 – Ah, Yorgos Lanthimos, I wish I liked Poor Things more.

7:14 – Jimmy compares Emma Stone’s Poor Things character to Sen. Katie Britt – a woman with the brain of a child. Lol

7:15 – How tall is Bradley Cooper? Or is his mother just really, really short?

7:15 – Wow De Niro and Jodie Foster were both nominated for Taxi Driver and they’re both nominated tonight.

7:17 – From Dirty A: “maestro, for the 10s of people who cross the venn diagram between lovers of movies and interest in composers”

7:18 – “Steven [Spielberg] are you nominated tonight or do you just have season tickets?”

7:20 – Rah rah moment for the unions, but Kimmel keeps it funny.

7:20 – Dirty A: Where’s the wrap-up button?

7:21 – Oh, they’re doing this again? Where multiple winners from the past present the awards? Enh, I guess it’s okay. Jamie Lee Curtis, Lupita Nyongo, Mary Steenberger, Rita Moreno, and Regina King presenting to their friends. Yeah, that’s nice.

7:26 – And the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress goes to Da’Vine Joy Randolph! Escorted to the stage by her co-star Paul Giamatti! It was a foregone conclusion, but I’m really happy for her. She earned it.

7:27 – That introduction was so long, it led Dirty A to ask, “Can they play off the presenters?” This format is nice, but it definitely drags. Aw, Da’Vine is crying. Good for her. Loved her in The Holdovers.

7:28 – Emily Blunt had a look on her face like, “Okay, can I leave now?”

7:30 – Dirty A on Da’Vine’s dress: it looks like she’s waving pom-poms

7:33 – Clips package for The Holdovers. One of the year’s absolute best films.

7:34 – “Da’Vine smoked real cigarettes and won an Oscar. See kids, sometimes smoking is good!”

7:35 – Thor and Anya Taylor-Joy to present Best Animated Short.

7:36 – The winner is War is Over! – Inspired by the music of John and Yoko

7:37 – DId that guy just say his wife’s name is Leetha?

7:38 – Happy Mother’s Day (UK), Yoko! Thanks for destroying the Beatles!

7:39 – The Oscar for Best Animated Feature goes to The Boy and the Heron! Miyazaki couldn’t be there. Poop. Well, now Thor has an Oscar.

7:46 – After a clip package for Poor Things, Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy present Best Original Screenplay.

7:47 – And the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay goes to Anatomy of a Fall! I’ve yet to see it, but I was really pulling for The Holdovers.

7:48 – Dirty A says Justine Triet is wearing Nicole Kidman’s AMC commercial pantsuit. Lol

7:50 – Now, Best Adapted Screenplay. Come on American Fiction!

7:51 – American Fiction wins! Cord Jefferson, who also directed the film, takes the Oscar home for Best Adapted Screenplay. Such a great film. If you haven’t seen it yet, seek it out.

7:53 – He’s only got 6 seconds left? Spencer and McCarthy went on FOREVER. I’m glad they’re good friends, but no wonder their superhero comedy flopped.

7:54 – Billie Eilish and Finneas perform “What Was I Made For?” from Barbie.

7:55 – This will more than likely win the Oscar, but honestly, it should go to “I’m Just Ken.”

7:58 – Nice! David Alan Grier is the announcer tonight!

8:03 – Clip package for Past Lives. Still need to see this.

8:03 – Michael Keaton and Catherine O’Hara coming out to the theme from Beetlejuice. They’re here to present Achievement in Makup and Hair.

8:05 – The Oscar goes to Poor Things! That’s deserved. I think all of the nominees were deserving in this category.

8:07 – Keaton and O’Hara to present Production Design. This has to go to Barbie, right?

8:07 – Poor Things wins again! Makes sense. The movie had a very unique look.

8:09 – Dirty A: the real make-up and production design from this movie is to hide the pedo script.

8:10 – Kimmel trying to recreate the 1974 Oscars Streaker moment with John Cena. We were hoping it would be Matt Damon. THAT would have been hilarious.

8:11 – LOL now a naked Cena is presenting Costume Design! This was a funny bit.

8:12 – Kimmel wraps Cena in a curtain and Poor Things wins for Best Costume Design! Looks like Poor Things will win all the artsy awards, while Oppenheimer will win the big ones and the technical prizes.

8:14 – Speaking of Cena, his new movie on Prime, Ricky Stanicky, is not a “good” movie by any means, but it has a lot of laughs and he’s actually really good in it. The premise is hilarious.

8:19 – Clip package for Killers of the Flower Moon. Really good movie. Also really LONG. It’s on Apple+ now. And now, their entry for best song!

8:22 – The Rock and Bad Bunny are here to present Best International Film. I knew that because Bad Bunny spoke in Spanish.

8:23 – The Oscar goes to The Zone of Interest! It is a British movie.

8:24 – Jonathan Glazer is speaking out against the genocide going on in Gaza. Powerful stuff.

8:25 – The Barbenheimer feud is coming to an end (?) with Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt presenting. This is a funny bit.

8:26 – They are here to honor the stut community, which makes sense, since they’ll be in The Fall Guy together in May. Dirty A wonders how much starch is in Emily’s dress.

8:28 – That was a nice little tribute. Wasn’t there supposed to be a Stunt Team Oscar? Or is that something they’re still pushing for?

8:32 – Clip package for Barbie. WHEN IS GOSLING SINGING????

8:33 – Best Supporting Actor, featuring Sam Rockwell, Tim Robbins, Ke Huy Quan, Christoph Waltz, and Mahershala Ali.

8:36 – Robert De Niro looks like he wants to be anywhere else.

8:38 – And, of course, Robert Downey Jr. wins! He was so great in Oppenheimer.

8:39 – “I’d like to thank my terrible childhood and the Academy – in that order.”

8:40 – Dirty A: Now De Niro can go home and have some milk.

8:45 – Anatomy of a Fall clip package.

8:46 – Arnie and Danny Devito together again because they both fought Batman. They kvetch and then they cut to Michael Keaton, who’s ready to throw hands. Lol

8:48 – The Oscar for best Visual Effects goes to Godzilla Minus One!

8:51 – After the Oscars callously played off the Godzilla team, Arnie and Danny present Best Editing.

8:53 – Oppenheimer wins!

8:54 – John Batiste performs his nominated song.

8:59 – Maestro clip package follows a FANTASTIC commercial for Mountain Dew with Aubrey Plaza and Nick Offerman.

9:01 – Guillermo! He’s giving drinks away and getting everyone’s names wrong. Hilarious.

9:02 – America Ferrera and Kate McKinnon to present the Documentary awards. They rope Spielberg into a funny bit about Kate sending “tasteful nudes” and her confusion why Jurassic Park isn’t a documentary.

9:04 – Best Documentary Short Film Oscar goes to the Last Repair Shop!

9:06 – 20 Days in Mariupol wins the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature! It’s the first Oscar in Ukrainian history. The director wishes he had never made the film, since it’s about the war. Fuck you, Russia.

9:13 – Clip package for The Zone of Interest, probably my biggest regret of the movies I missed.

9:14 – Zendaya to present Achievement in Cinematography.

9:14 – The Oscar goes to Oppenheimer! Hoyte Van Hoytema!

9:16 – Issa Rae and Ramy Youssef present the Oscars for Best Shorts.

9:17 – Wes Anderson wins! Too bad he couldn’t be there. Poop.

9:18 – Becky G performs the song from Flaming Hot!

9:24 – Clip package for the phenomenal American Fiction.

9:25 – John Mulaney to present the Oscar for Achievement in Sound. And another jab at Madame Web! Lol

9:26 – Dirty A: baby j pulling off his jason bateman look; Mulaney is giving a rundown of Field of Dreams. He’s so fucking funny.

9:27 – The Oscar goes to The Zone of Interest! Wow!

9:28 – Dirty A: maestro couldn’t even win for sound smh

9:30 – “I’M JUST KEN!” FINALLY!!!

9:31 – This is amazing. They even got the other guys from the movie to dance. Hilarious. SLASH! Ha ha ha ha!

9:33 – THAT should win the Oscar!

9:37 – Clip package for the best movie of the year, Oppenheimer.

9:38 – Kimmel starts the bidding for Ryan Gosling’s Ken pants. Bradley Cooper’s mom wants them. Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo here to present Original Song and Original Score.

9:39 – Dirty A on Grande: Method acting as cotton candy tonight.

9:40 – Best Score goes to Ludwig Goransson for Oppenheimer! He won previously for Black Panther! Great score for both.

9:41 – And, predictably, Billie Eilish and Finneas win for Best Original Song. They also won for No TIme To Die. I still say it should have been I’m Just Ken.

9:44 – Lol, no one wants to talk to the Academy President.

9:49 – A clip of Navalny leads off the In Memoriam tribute. So many great artists we’ve lost this past year.

9:56 – “People are getting Oppenhammered in the lobby.” Nic Cage, McConnaughey, Brendan Fraser, Ben Kingsley, and Forest Whittaker to present Best Actor.

10:00 – Cillian Murphy wins Best Actor! Honestly, it could have gone to any of them. All were deserving of the honor.

10:03 – Stevie Spielberg is up to present Best Director.

10:04 – Christopher Nolan wins his first Oscar for Oppenheimer! Truly well deserved.

10:05 – Dirty A: nolan’s acceptance speech, “please rewatch Tenet!”

10:09 – Sally Field, Jennifer Lawrence, Michelle Yeoh, Charlize Theron, and Jessica Lange to present Best Actress.

10:14 – WOW. Emma Stone wins for Best Actress! It really should have gone to Lily Gladstone.

10:15 – She really didn’t expect to win. And we love Emma Stone, but this one just didn’t hit for us. This was the only category that was a complete toss-up. Happy for her, though.

10:17 – Dirty A: the white man has to rob the native americans whenever it can

10:18 – Kimmel reading a “review” for his performance from a “former president.” LOL “Isn’t past your jailtime?”

10:19 – Al Pacino to present Best Picture! Hoo-ha!

10:21 – That was very anti-climactic. I want to say Al flubbed something. Anyway, OPPENHEIMER wins Best Picture! What a shocking development! Lol. Totally deserving. It’s captivating. Producer Emma Thomas (and Nolan’s spouse!) accepts the Oscar.

And that does it for this year! Thanks for spending the evening with The Hodgepodge Podcast. Hope you had fun and we’ll see you at the movies!