The subtitle of the fifth—fifth!—Pirates of the Caribbean movie is Dead Men Tell No Tales and, y’know, they really shouldn’t, because they suck.
Twenty years ago, Director Danny Boyle and Writer John Hodge adapted Irvine Welsh‘s novel, Trainspotting, and the film became the highest grossing limited release film of 1996 and a cult hit. Now they are back with the sequel and we all know how sequels made decades later always turn out great, right? Right? How does T2 fare?
It’s that time of year again when the temperatures remind those in denial that maybe the Earth is getting hotter and everyone seeks shelter in the air-conditioned sanctuary that is the local multiplex. But what to watch once you’re there? Well, I’m here to clue you in on twenty-two of the films I’m most curious about this summer. Like with my Fall Preview last year, this will be a curtailed affair, so I won’t be slamming too many films as unwatchable, but in looking at the calendar, I don’t see many egregious offenders—for once. Maybe that means movies are getting better? But it’s probably more because Paul Blart 2 is a spring release.
As always, I’ll list the films in order by release date, but of course, those dates are always subject to change. 2015 is shaping up to be a movie year for the ages and it all begins with a minor indie release called: